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As we slide into our 40s, 50s and 60s, we often find ourselves on a treadmill that we created long before. David Byrne of the Talking Heads kind of sums it up in the song, Once in a Lifetime:
- You may ask yourself, “What is that beautiful house?”
- You may ask yourself, “Where does that highway go to?
- And you may ask yourself, “Am I right? Am I wrong?”
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And you may say to yourself, “My God! What have I done?”
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…Same as it ever was. Same is it ever was.
Our first set of goals often include things like career, profession, ownership (house, automobile, cabin, cottage, boat), marrying/partnering, kids/no kids, pets, travel and other “big ticket” kind of wants/desires.
I’ve got the stuff, so why aren’t I happier?
This could also be called the mid-life crisis, the search for life’s meaning, the angst that can come with feeling like you’re on a perpetual treadmill and not living a life that aligns with who you want to be and your own values.
This crisis, angst, turmoil, feeling of discontent – call it what you will – does often occur as we have spent a decade- or two or three – chasing after all the goals and dreams we set for ourselves when we were younger. Many if not all of those goals have been achieved, but you’re feeling dissatisfied, unhappy and unable to enjoy the fruits of all your labour.
Let me offer you my personal take on what’s going on: you haven’t taken the time in years and years to think about what you want NOW. You had all that dreaming time when you were young and carefree. Today you’re just trying to keep up with all the balls you’re juggling daily and by the time you stop, you’re ready to drop into bed so you can start again the next day.
How can I figure out my next chapter?
You’re not looking for therapy, you’re looking for answers. There’s nothing wrong with you. The problem is you haven’t allowed yourself the quiet time to reflect, to dig deep, and to really, really examine what you want in your life today. Enter coaching.
Coaching comes from the perspective that you are okay, that deep down you know what you want; it’s hard to have deep conversations with ourselves or those who are invested in us, because there are assumptions and roadblocks built into not only the assumptions we carry about ourselves (think your inner gremlins!), but in our close relationships, too.
Trained, certified coaches, who have lived life experience, will ask you those deeper level questions that will get to who you are today, what you value and help you set new goals.
Some questions you’ll likely hear are:
- By having X, what will this change for you?
- As you live through these values (X, Y, Z), what are you becoming
- Imagine you were able to step fully and completely into X now. What do you notice about who you’re becoming?
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If you imagine you had resolved those feelings, what kind of person do you see yourself becoming?
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Suppose one, two or three areas of your life would rise in your level of satisfaction, so that there is a positive influence around your values. Which areas would provide the most impact?
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What do you need to put in place to ensure you’ll take these steps?
These are a few of the powerful questions you’ll explore with your coach.
Get what you want NOW!
Hop off that hamster wheel for a while. It’s still going to be there if you choose to do nothing at all but carry on. But imagine, if the hamster wheel became your ferris wheel: you get to feel and experience all the sights, sounds and excitement of embracing everything that is possible. How cool would that be?
What’s holding you back? If not now, when?
Posted in Goal Setting
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